Hey girl, you make me wanna write a song,
Sit you down, I'll sing it to you all night long,
I've had a melody in my head since she walked in here and knocked me dead.
Yea girl, you make me wanna write a song

And it goes like ooh, what I wouldn't do
To write my name on your heart, get you wrapped in my arms baby all around you.
And it goes like hey, girl I'm blown away,
Yea it starts with a smile and it ends with an all night long slow kiss,
Yea it goes like this.

Hey girl, you make me wanna drive you home,
Get you outta here and get you all alone.
I don't know what it is about you, baby,
But I'm all messed up and it might sound crazy,
But you make me wanna write a song.

And it goes like ooh, what I wouldn't do,
To write my name on your heart, get you wrapped in my arms baby all around you.
And it goes like hey, girl I'm blown away,
Yea it starts with a smile and it ends with an all night long slow kiss,
Yea it goes like this.

Lookin' at you lookin' at me that way,
Makes me wanna grab my old guitar and play

Something like ooh, what I wouldn't do,
To write my name on my heart, get you wrapped in my arms baby all around you.
And it goes like hey, girl I'm blown away,
Yea it starts with a smile and it ends with an all night long slow kiss,
Yea it goes like this

And it goes like ooh, and it goes like hey,
And it ends with a kiss,
Yea it goes like this.

this song describes my mood at the moment.
love every single word.

I was pretty much hurt to max last night. I try to be understanding and okay about the situation but I find myself sitting here with heartache. I have been told many times that he wasn't good for me. but I always looked past it. I followed my heart and now its hurt. I want so bad to tell him to fuck off and just move on but I cant. I want to see him. I want him to hold me give me a kiss and tell me that we will work this out. I know that I cant be okay with this and that nothing will change, but what if it does? do I give him another chance or just I jut let go? I am so stuck. I hate having this feeling. I feel like no matter what I say or do it will always be the same. I tried to talk to him last night and he just walked away like I was nothing. just brushed it off like what I had to say meant nothing. I wasn't rude or raise my voice I was simply trying to talking to him. all he had to say was sorry. why do all men turn to sorry for the answer? sorry doesn't work with me. there should have never been a reason for him to have to say sorry. I should have never had to bring it up again. he knew how I felt about it from the get so why not take care of it and move on. I have been so willing to work it out and make excuses for him and defend him for every little thing. I have fought non stop with my mom about this since I was open with her about him. she told me that I deserve better. I deserve someone who is going to shower me in expensive things and take me to a fancy dinner and show me love and affection all the time. I personally don't care about the expensive things or the fancy dinners. to me a relationship should be about to people who care about one another and want to make it happen regardless of the problems that come along. I want companionship. some to come home to and kiss me on the forehead. someone to say hey babe how was your day? someone to have an awesome conversation with and not have to worry about the people around me complaining about that person I am with. I just want to be happy and I don't think that it is to much to ask for. you know last night he told me that we would talk about this today and he still hasn't come over. he is always here bright and early everyday never fails. yet its past 3pm and he is still not here. no call no nothing. ughhhh. just come here already.
xoxoxoxoxoxox ash.

I sit and I think. I know that I cant make him do anything that he doesn't want to do but, a girl can wish right? idk what is more irritating, the fact that he knows and still does it or that I let it continue. ugh. this is so frustrating. I try so hard to make everyone around me happy and its like no one is happy and I am miserable. I always have a headache thinking about this. I am so tempted to tell my mom to just take him home but, I don't want to seem over barring. I mean is it over barring to be that way? is it wrong of me to want something so bad and just want it for myself? I ask these questions hoping that one day I will have an answer but that never happens. I just want to have a normal relationship. what is normal nowadays anyway? seems like normal is a male who does whatever he wants while the female just sits at home and worries. then we as females start fights because the male doesn't understand that what he is doing is wrong. in his eyes no matter what he does its okay. but if we as females even want to hang with a few girlfriends its such a big deal and they blow up our phones. is it genuine care or the subconscious telling that that we might be doing what they are doing? I know that not every male in a relationship acts this way but in most cases it is that way. and I just cant help but think that it isn't fair for the male to be okay hurting his women but it isn't okay foe the female to want to do something with being questioned the same way. myself, I have never been the type to cheat I anyway. if I am in a solid relationship I stick to it. 100% no cracks in between. but maybe that is just me.ughhhhhhhh. help?!?!?!?!????!?!
xoxoxoxox ash.