hm, day one. i guess.
idk but for some reason i am in an extremely bad mood. i cant but want to speak for him. i want him to understand how i feel, where i come from. i have noticed that even if i give all of myself to him, he still doesn't understand that i would do any thing for him. i need to tell him how i feel but i am afraid that he will just brush it off. i go out of my way to show him in every way that i care yet he is with her. talking about something that is just going to make him upset. then he will come to me and i will pick up the pieces, kiss him and make him feel the way he wants to feel. i cant expect that in return tho. i have been in to many relationships that i have been used, or taken advantage of. i know that  cant allow that to happen again here but i feel as if i have no other choice then to let him treat me the way he feels. why is it that i am weak when it become to men? why cant i be as strong as he is? i just want to be with him and show him that i can be all he wants and all he needs. mt heart is open and i am willing to give him everything he wants. all i need from him is to be the one to except it. ugh. this is so annoying. why cant i tell him this. no instead i am here tell the world in hope that he wont see it so i wont have to explain it. ugh ugh ugh. well i guess i will go. til later.
bye. <3